For many parents the first days of school are not all laughter, joy and excitement, but days of tears and anxiety. And the main reason for that is the “separation anxiety”, that many children go through, usually between the ages of 10 months and 6 years old.

In order to be able to address this situation effectively, we must first get to know what “separation anxiety” really is and why do children go through this experience.

In the early stages of life, a person develops dependency relationships with his parents or caregivers, on a physical, as well as on a psychological level, as the person is unable to take care of himself and survive alone. As a result, when a child is put under the care of other people, whether they are caregivers or school teachers, he feels like he is separated from his main source of survival. This can cause a great sense of insecurity and anxiety to a child, feelings that he will express in the way he knows best, which is crying and denying getting separated from his parents and adjusting to the school environment.

But how can we best prepare our children for this transition and how can we deal with such a situation?

As we have mentioned above, this kind of anxiety is strongly related to feelings of insecurity and the way to deal with it is by replacing these negative feelings with feelings of security. If we feel that our child will be safe in his new environment, then it’s more likely that our child will also feel safe, as children can sense and adopt to their parents’ feelings.

It can also be very helpful if the child is familiar with the new environment and the new people, in advance. This will give us the chance to show the child that we approve this new place and people and that we also feel safe there.

Make sure you discuss the upcoming separation in time and explain to the child that their stay in the new environment will be temporary and most of all a fun and useful experience.

It is of great importance to build a trust relationship with our child. We always let the child know that we are leaving him and we never leave in secret. We make sure that we keep our promises and strictly follow our timelines.

We ask the child to share his experiences, fears and feelings with us and we try to explain them instead of repressing them.

We keep the communication channels open with the caregivers/ teachers and make sure we are informed for everything that happens during our absence concerning our child.

Always keep in mind that each child is different and each psychophysical case should be addressed in a personalized way. We should also ask for specialized help, when dealing with an extreme case, or whenever we feel that we cannot deal with a case by ourselves.